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Work Retire Die’s Post-Grad Survival Guide: How to Thrive in the Real World

It’s college graduation season and once again, there’s a fresh crop of bright eyed, 22-year-olds ready to take on the real world. With the world opening up after COVID, bodies that still don’t get hungover or break down after one minor injury, and the prospect of having a comma in their checking account for the first time ever, these whipper-snappers have the world at their fingertips. And they’re going to fucking blow it.

It’s crazy to think that in just 2-3 months, the light will leave these new postgrads’ eyes as the come to the soul-crushing realization that their days of partying, avoiding responsibility, and having people give a shit about them are about to be over and there’s only three things left to do in this world – work, retire and die. It’s enough to make you want to throw in the towel or beg your parents to let you do a 5th year even though you’ve already graduated. No one would blame you, but lesson #1 from adulthood is you can’t run from your problems forever (you can for about 6 months until bill collectors start blowing up your phone) – you have to face them.

Luckily, we’re here to help you survive (and maybe even thrive) in this new world of taxes, bills, and being in the worst shape of your entire life. Here’s how you do it.

The Recent Grad Survival Guide: How to Thrive in the Real World


A Guide to Safe Shit Talk in the Office.

Venting is important. Here’s how you do it without getting fired.

Punxsutawney Phil Gives the Blueprint for Success in Corporate America

Tips from America’s most successful rat.

How to Deal with Annoying Coworkers

Dealing with snithches, slackers and credit hoggers in today’s office world.

How to Focus on Your Job When the World is Burning

There’s a crisis on this planet pretty much every week. Here’s how you get through the day unscathed.

Should I Hook Up with My Coworker? A Useful Guide

Should you risk your career for some hanky-panky?

How to Network When You Hate Networking

Networking tips for people who hate Gary V

How to Survive a Hangover at Work

Here’s you get through the nightmare that is today and live to see another day.

How to Dominate Office Happy Hours

An office happy hour can make or break your career. Don’t blow it.

In Praise of Work Friends

The only people who make your shitty little job worth it.

How to Set the Bar at an Appropriate Level at Your First Corporate Job

Easy tips for making your B+ talent and B- work ethic get you every promotion you don’t deserve.

How to Behave Like a Normal Person In the Office

Some of you forgot how to act during COVID.

The Ten Commandments of Corporate America

Learnings from 5+ years of Corporate America formalized into sacred scripture for those who want to survive, thrive and maintain their sanity.

Quitting Your Job Better Than Donald Trump

Whether you’re so excited about your first job you posted a LinkedIn status (don’t do this) or took the first gig you could find to get your parents off your back, here’s how you quit that shit like a grown up.

How to Write Business Emails

Email writing is probably the most important skill you can have in corporate America (is this sad? I think so but Idk.) Learn how to master the art of the email today.

Going in to Work with a Black Eye


How to Call in “Sick” from Work

Believably convince your boss that you’re actually sick and not hungover as fuck.

Finding a New Job While You’re Still Employed

Your job sucks but you’re still kinda poor. That sucks. Here’s how to find a new job while collecting money from your current employer

Buzzword Dictionary (Ongoing)

Teaching you the new language of corporate jargon one buzzword at a time.


Situations Where You Need a Good Seat

Don’t get stuck at the wrong end of the brunch table

Ranking Excuses for Staying in on a Friday

You deserve the night off. Here’s how you do it without looking lame.

Decorating Your First Apartment without Scaring off the Opposite Sex

You finally moved out of your parent’s home and into your first apartment. Make this shithole a home with some decorating

What Your Halloween Costume Says About You: A Hater’s Guide


Options for Playing Sports as an Adult

You peaked in high school but still need a competitive outlet. Here are your options.

How to Petition Your Parents to Let You Move Back Home

Convincing your parents to let you live with them after college can be tough. Guest blogger Isaac Hobbes from Intro to Introverts breaks down how you can make it happen.

The Worst Types of Hangovers, Ranked

Hangovers sucks. Here’s which ones suck the most and why.

The Jacked by Late June Washed Up Workout Regime

Did you forget to work out the past 3 months? Here’s how you get your summer body ready in the next 4-7 weeks.

Getting Through the Week with $50 in Your Bank Account

You’re broke as fuck and there’s 4 days until you get your paycheck. Don’t panic. We’re here to help.

Making New Friends as an Adult

Moving to a new city where you know no one can be tough. Here’s how to stop being a loser ASAP.

Rallying: A Guide to Going Out After Day Drinking

You have 48 hours of freedom every week. Don’t waste them napping on your couch on a Saturday night.

Pros and Cons of a Hamptons Sharehouse

The Hamptons (or Jersey Shore) Sharehouse is a rite of passage for all early 20s grads. This is what you should consider before pulling the trigger.

The Hacker’s Guide to Golfing with the Boys

The best way to enjoy golf for guys who rarely break 100.


Moments that Make You Feel Old as Fuck.

Ya boy got engaged. I feel excited but old.

Power Ranking Responses to Quarter Life Crises

We’re here to judge you, not help you.

What I Wish I Knew When I Graduated College

Lessons from a washed up twenty something.

Life Actually Gets Better After College

College is fucking sick. Not gonna lie to you about that. But if doesn’t have to be the “best years of your life” because the real world can be pretty great too.

New Post for New Post Grads: Tips from a Washed Up Has-been.

How to survive the real world from a 28 year old who lives with his girlfriend.

Life Lessons from One Year as a Corporate Hack

How to survive the real world from a 23 year old who lives in a shoebox apartment in the East Village of NYC.

The 4 Years of Undergrad Postgrad: A Manifesto

Your first four years of postgrad are like your first four years of college.

Power Ranking Grad School Degrees by How Much I Respect Them

A helpful ranking for anyone considering grad school.

Questions About Postgrad Life from College Kids

The boys at Study Party Die asked about family cell phone plans, effort levels, having roommates and whether you can still drink Natty Lights as an adult (yes you can.)