Work.Retire.Die.

Editor’s Note: Every Friday afternoon from now until Labor Day, we will be dropping a new summer themed blog to close out your work day and take you into the weekend. 14 weeks, 14 topics, 14 chances for you to have something interesting to talk about at a pregame. If you’re new, go check out our previous Summer Fridays blogs. If you want to write or have an idea for a Summer Friday topic, shoot me a DM on Instagram @WorkRetireDie.

One of the worst things about summer is the pressure you feel to go and do something every time the weather is nice out. Here on WRD, we promote the sedentary lifestyle and will never judge you for staying inside, closing the blinds, and watching TV for 9 hours straight during the nicest day of the year. TV rules, outdoors stinks.

We got a brand spanking new Summer Friday post for those kindred spirits who just want to lie on the couch for the month of June – the Summer Movie Superlatives. We’ll cover the absolutely essential categories for all summer related movies, award winners and shoutout a few honorable mentions. As always, all decisions are correct and final. Enjoy.

Summer movie Superlatives

Best summer fling

Ali and Noah, The Notebook

No surprise here. The greatest love story of all time is going to be tough to beat. I categorize this one as a summer fling, because I just completely disagree with Act 3 of this movie. Noah and Allie were in love for about 3 months when they were 18 years old. Then they spend a weekend together 10 years later and we’re supposed to believe this ends well? People change.

In real life, this would last for maybe 2 months until Allie realizes that Noah’s only form of employment seems to be rowing a boat and brooding. After spending the better part of his adult life obsessing over Allie, Noah would no longer know what to do with himself when he finally gets her. He throws himself into constantly renovating their home and drinking himself into a stupor until his GI bill runs dry and Allie goes running back to her much hotter and normal ex fiance Lon. It’s a tale as old as time.

Honorable Mentions: Sandy and Danny, Grease; Miley Cyrus’ character and Liam Hemsworth’s character, The Last Song (never saw it but they’re married now right?)

Best movie about reuniting with a twin you never knew you had and tricking your divorced parents into getting back together

Parent Trap

This movie taught me a lot. How to pierce an ear (use a lemon), how to prank your dad’s new gold digging girlfriend (mattress on a lake) and how to traumatize your children after you and your spouse have what seems to be a pretty amicable divorce (the whole thing was just a wild parenting decision.)

Not only did this movie help kickstart Lindsey Lohan’s career as a club owner in Mykonos, but it also gave every child hope that they had a secret twin that was way better than their actual siblings. And I think that’s pretty cool.

Honorable Mention: It Takes Two, starring Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.

• A very strong film, but when compared to classics like “You’re Invited to Mary Kate and Ashely’s Sleepover Party” and “You’re Invited to Mary Kate and Ashley’s Costume Party,” it really just doesn’t stack up.

Best movie about the last day of high school

Superbad

This one may be cheating a little bit, but I’m like 90% sure this occurs right at the beginning of summer. I also just really wanted to talk about Superbad. This movie actually changed my life and was the first movie that felt like it captured high school accurately. It’s also one of the top 5 funniest movies of all time.

If you had any chance of being cool in high school, you needed to be able to quote this movie from start to finish.

Honorable Mentions: Dazed and Confused.

best movie about summer camp

Wet Hot American Summer

I never went to sleep-away camp and it tore me apart for years. Everyone was making out all the time and learning some weird handshakes and songs and shit. So I wanted to hate this movie but I just couldn’t. Which is very admirable and open minded of me.

This movie, plus the accompanying Netflix series, is probably the silliest thing of all time and the bravest, most inspiring artistic work of the past 100 years. If you don’t like this, check yourself into the closest mental institution and throw out the key.

Honorable Mention: Heavyweights, Camp Rock

Has summer in the title but isn’t about summer

Summer Heights High

Technically a series and not a movie but shut up. This thing rules. I obviously like Jonah the best, but am willing to hear arguments for Ja’mie.

Honorable Mention: 500 Days of Summer

• Fuck this movie. Tom is such a little pussy and I almost threw up in my mouth when the new girl’s name was Autumn. Also Zoey Deschanel – you’re not as cute and quirky as you think you are sweetie!

best cartoon tv show adaptation

Recess: School’s Out

This is the first movie that truly made me realize that kids can make a difference. Over the course of maybe a week, TJ and the gang save the world from literal aliens, squash old beef with the little snitch Randall, and help Principal Prickly realize why he got into education in the first place – to help kids, NOT give detentions all the time. If that doesn’t inspire you, I can’t help you.

Honorable Mention: Extremely Goofy Movie

• Great cinema, but Max will absolutely steal your girl. Can’t have that anywhere near my eyeballs.

best character named summer

Summer Hathaway, School of Rock

I think it speaks a lot to my character that I can move past my hatred for the character of Megan and disgust at her actions in Drake and Josh to fully appreciate Miranda Cosgrove’s performance in School of Rock. Summer is definitely an annoying little shit at the beginning, but she really has a some tremendous growth. The girl just runs shit.

Honorable Mention: Summer Wheatley, Napoleon Dynamite; Summer Hartley, Definitely Maybe

Best movie about sticking it to rich people

Caddyshack

Gotta hand it to the first rated R movie I ever saw and my second experience with cinema nudity (after Titanic.) I love this movie for nostalgia’s sake and there are legitimately funny parts. I just don’t think it holds up that well to movies nowadays but what do I know – I just write blogs for tens of people of the Internet.

Honorable Mention: Dirty Dancing

Best sports movie

Sandlot

A perfect movie with so many classic scenes. Throwing up from chew on the ferris wheel, s’Mores banter, playing the other team that one time, Wendy Peppercorn. Easy decision here.

Honorable Mention: High School Musical 2; Caddyshack

Most relatable scene

American Pie 2: Throwing the football into a crowd of girls on the beach so you can talk to them

Can’t tell you how many times this move was executed from 2013 – 2016. Never really worked, but that’s not the point.

Honorable Mentions: The scene in Sandlot when Benny stole home (I did this once in 7th grade not to brag); Jonah saying ‘Puck you Miss’ in Summer Heights High.

best dorm room poster

Endless Summer

I never actually saw this movie, but I saw this poster 3,000 times in college. I wonder if they ever found that perfect wave. I wonder.