Work.Retire.Die.

*Editor’s Note: Summer Fridays continues with a post from guest writer Jag Mehoff, who has written so many guest blogs I’ve given him a new title – Prince of Playlists. That’s right, WRD is entering the music business and is proud to announce a new Spotify account, including a Summer Playlist (appropriately named Liver Prep Vibes) and a compilation of Best Songs to Hear When You’re Drunk, with all the hits from the 2018 Bracket contest.

If you want to write or have an idea for a Summer Friday topic, shoot me a DM on Instagram @WorkRetireDie.

Summer fridays: Roadtrips

Well fam we made it. It’s finally summer and while most people are out enjoying the weather and friends, I am stuck inside writing this column because the Content King can’t write his own material *and I respect him to an incredible level and think he is handsome. (*editor’s edition)

As seen back in March, the undisputed Best Thing in the World is “reuniting with friends you haven’t seen in a while.” And there’s no better time to do this than during the summer. Work is slow (unless you are a lifeguard or you make/sell sunscreen) and the weather is good so you have plenty of options on where to meet and what to do.

When it comes to reuniting with friends, it’s tough to beat a good old fashioned road trip. Just you and some friends hopping in a car together with a bunch of cheap snacks, sick beats, and the anxiety and dread of the decisions you are going to make when you all get together. Nothing helps you catch up on all that you’ve missed in each others lives like spending multiple hours in a car with nothing to do.

To ensure a fun and smooth road trip however it takes some planning and important questions being answered:

Who is driving?

The all important question. The answer is usually me because I’m a giver. If you’re not lucky enough to be friends with me, this is one that need to be answered ASAP.

Two factors are at play when selecting a driver:

• Driving Tendencies
  • You may have a friend who likes to drive with his shoes off, which is a little weird and maybe illegal. You could have a friend who talk with his hands and never really seems to be paying attention and you’re spending half the drive on the rumble strips on the side of the highway. Or there’s the one who gets so into the music that is playing that he uses the steering wheel as a drum and the only real question is why did we let him drive in the first place?
• Type of Car
  • Is this an old car that doesn’t even have an aux cord and sounds so bad every time you brake that you’re worried you won’t make it past state lines?  Or is it a new car (in my case) which has some pretty sweet technology like Bluetooth audio and power windows to really make everyone feel comfortable and admire how rich I am.

My new car is actually a truck and people say I have changed since I bought it. It’s hard to argue… my facial hair grows faster, I’m more fun at parties, and I feel like I’m part of a unique clique (cult) because I get nods from other people who drive trucks… it’s exciting stuff.

Who is in charge of the music?

As important as it is to find out who is driving, I may argue that the playlist for the drive is more important. As a Spotify premium member (5 year club no big deal) I take great pride in making playlists for all 14 of my loyal followers to enjoy no matter what mood they’re in.

Have a bad day at work? BOOM listen to my “Good Vibes” playlist and find yourself back realizing that everything is okay and this job is just temporary (maybe). Wake up super hungover and just want to crack a beer and chill? SAY NO MORE – my “Sunday Morning Vibes” playlist is just what the doctor ordered. Apparently I’m big into just putting “vibes” at the end of every name but who cares the music is all that matters.

One particular playlist though carries a lot of pressure every year and that of course is the summer playlist. It takes weeks to craft and is constantly being added to or trimmed down, all with the goal of keeping everyone in a good mood throughout any occasion. It has to be a good balance between classic songs that everyone knows, to new songs that are straight (insert fire emoji). People will often approach me at parties and social engagements, and ask me when the playlist will be finalized. It’s exhausting but it’s the life I’ve chosen.

Taking all recommendations on name ideas as well, right now I’m leaning towards “Liver Prep Vibes”.

Who is bringing the snacks?

A road trip is an excuse to buy junk food that you haven’t even thought about eating since middle school, or for some… select times in college. I’m talking about gushers, fruit roll ups/fruit by the foot, rice krispie treats, cheese curls, you know the stuff that you would always want to trade someone for at lunch but now you can finally afford yourself. This job really isn’t that hard and kind of falls on the whole group so if everyone brings something then you’re usually in business.

When it comes to boozing in the backseat, this can go both ways. It can make the drive 10x more fun and exhilarating, lead to better and funnier conversation, and lends itself to executing some classic pranks like mooning other cars. You are also guaranteed to come in hot to wherever you are stop. On the flip side, it can be annoying as fuck for the driver and can lead to people having to pee on the side of the road every 7 minutes. Which leads to my next point…

How many stops along the way?

There are few things worse than really having to pee and trying to find the nearest rest stop. One time on a road trip from Florida to Maryland my brother I were driving and I had to pee more than I have ever had to pee in my entire life and he made me wait until we were at a place called South of the Border in South Carolina. If you have ever wanted to go there don’t do it, it’s not worth it regardless of how creative the hundreds of road signs are on 95. Brutal.

Hopefully there is no one in your group that has the bladder of a 2 year old because if you do then you could be in for a loooong trip. Usually I think its safe to stop once right about half way and use the bathroom/stretch the legs, and since I drive a truck most likely fill up with gas. A song on my summer playlist is the throwback “Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill)” by Wycleaf Jean and Akon (total jam) and in the wise words of Akon “I’m a tell you, like Wu told me, cash rules everything around me” so be sure to send a little bit of cash the drivers way just to make everything even for gas. (Sorry for that awful joke but I had to make sure these guys pay up).

I hope all you WRDies have a great summer and enjoy the time in the sun with friends and family. Don’t forget to check out the official Spotify account which you should most definitely follow.