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Our latest blog comes from our newest hire, Intern Tavi, whose here to share his wisdom from life as totally not a virgin at all.

While sifting through Twitter the other day, I was intrigued by a post that caught my eye. It was a study conducted by The Washington Post, paired with the catchy tagline: “the share of men under 30 who aren’t having sex has nearly tripled in the past decade.”

The post included the chart above which shows the recent rise in virginity of young men under the age of 30. Immediately, I had so many questions. What is causing this spike in virginity? I had no idea. I felt entirely out of the loop, wholly disconnected from the virgin community. I looked more closely at the timeline of the graph. What was it about the year 2008 that caused such a dramatic spike in virginity? In 2008 the top song in the country was “Low” by Flo Rida–that couldn’t be it. “Low” was a club anthem, it got everybody laid. The Twilight series was paving the way for thousands of steamy teenage romances, so that couldn’t be the reason either. But through some not-so-extensive research I came to a conclusion about this graph and why so many young men have began to abstain from sexual relations. The answer is Marvel Comics.

Allow me to explain. The graph clearly shows a spike in virginity around the year of 2008. I came across this image of the Marvel Universe timeline. Notice anything suspicious?

The timeline fits perfectly with the spike in virginity seen in the Washington Post study. Not only that, but there seems to be a direct linear correlation between the rise in virginity and the amount of movies Marvel Studios produced each year. Was this just a coincidence? The data says no.

And the evidence doesn’t stop there. I looked to where these communities of young celibate Marvel fans may be hiding: Reddit. I found that the “Iron Man” subreddit was created right around the key year of 2008:

Next I evaluated the steady rise seen in The Washington Post graph that seems to continue up until around 2018. I investigated more and found that between the years of 2012 and 2019 Marvel had released 3 top grossing films–in less than a decade! Combining for over 2.18 billion dollars grossed in box office, Marvel’s film domination boomed while sex took the back seat.

At this point, the evidence began to feel overwhelming. It seemed logical to look at the future: how can we predict this phenomenon evolving? Can it be stopped? It cannot. When I stumbled upon a recent Insider article that explains the vast new additions of Marvel cinema to their platform, I was saddened and distraught. We are living a new age, one which Marvel Studios will inevitably accelerate the virginity of young men world wide.

In all, my findings were grim. Once young men lusted over the touch of women, but now they now seemingly lust over Thanos and his infinity gauntlet. As Marvel begins to release its series of ‘Phase 4’ films, millions of young men will find themselves more sexually inactive than ever–an influence that Marvel never knew they had.