Financial Advice for Patrick Mahomes, the $500 Million Man

If you haven't heard, Pat Mahomes, NFL "star", recently signed a contract for a lot of money. Big deal. He's generally a pretty dumb guy, but today he decided to make a smart decision - ask me for help on how to spend his money. Transcript below - Now, normally I'd hate sharing personal emails … Continue reading Financial Advice for Patrick Mahomes, the $500 Million Man

Conversation Topics that Aren’t Coronavirus Related

One of life’s simple pleasures is small talk. I don’t mean that sarcastically. I genuinely enjoy making ultimately meaningless conversation for 3 to 7 minutes with friends, acquaintances and perfect strangers. There’s something soothing about knowing exactly where an interaction will go, the familiar ebbs and flows wrapping you tight in a warm hug from the … Continue reading Conversation Topics that Aren’t Coronavirus Related

Beans from Even Stevens Interviews to be My Assistant

In case you’re living under a rock, we are currently deep in the process of finding a new assistant here at Work Retire Die headquarters to help us run the entire Internet. Over the course of the next few weeks, we will be interviewing several very talented and qualified applicants. So far, we've had the honor of … Continue reading Beans from Even Stevens Interviews to be My Assistant

My Ex-GF Lisa Ann Interviews to be My Assistant

In case you're living under a rock, we are currently deep in the process of finding a new assistant here at Work Retire Die headquarters to help us run the entire Internet. Over the course of the next few weeks, we will be interviewing several very talented and qualified applicants. Last week we had the … Continue reading My Ex-GF Lisa Ann Interviews to be My Assistant

Drake Bells Interviews to be My Personal Assistant

As you may be aware, we are currently in the market for a personal assistant here at Work Retire Die. As we described in our job posting on Friday, we need a very specific candidate who can handle the Herculean task of helping run the entire Internet. We were completely overwhelmed by the interest in … Continue reading Drake Bells Interviews to be My Personal Assistant

Now Hiring

Through a combination of hard work, unchecked white privilege, and relentlessly posting content, regardless of feedback, we here at Work Retire Die headquarters have achieved the lifelong dream of every young boy across the country - 12,543 followers on our relatable work humor meme page. With such a massive following, we realized something - WE … Continue reading Now Hiring

What I Won’t Miss This Summer

Editor's Note - Today marks the start of Quarantine Summer Fridays. Every Friday, we'll be discussing a new summer topic, geared towards these quarantine times. Go check out our Summer Fridays articles from last year when we were allowed to actually enjoy our lives. Summer is going to be a little different this year, and … Continue reading What I Won’t Miss This Summer

17 Completely Bizarre Stock Photos That’ll Make You Miss the Office

As the world's #1 mid-size office meme account, I spend a significant amount of time perusing the Internet for stock photos to make ground-breaking content from. As I was doing my weekly research, I realized something - man does working from home stink on ice. I just want to go back to the cubes man. … Continue reading 17 Completely Bizarre Stock Photos That’ll Make You Miss the Office

Bad Meeting Breakdown – Scott Van Belt

We have special guest Scott Van Belt here today to break down Mike's marketing conference call. Pro-Tip - please stop pretending you have bad Wi-Fi. No one believes you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoXkW2QJKgQ

Work Retire Mailbag Vol. 2 – Hooking up with Coworkers, Don’t Be An Annoying New Hire, and Email Signoffs

Every month or so, we’ll be answering your questions about work, life and balance. Thank you to all who submitted questions, and for everyone else, be sure to email workretiredie@gmail.com to have yours answered in the next version.  And don’t forget to subscribe to the weekly newsletter, where answers will be posted first. Check out last … Continue reading Work Retire Mailbag Vol. 2 – Hooking up with Coworkers, Don’t Be An Annoying New Hire, and Email Signoffs