Work.Retire.Die.

*Editor’s Note – Our latest guest blogger, Real Talk, is currently quarantined by himself in New York City and is definitely not losing his mind.

Also – WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR QUARANTINE STORIES. If you’re interested in guest blogging, email us at workretiredie@gmail.com with an idea of a full blog and we’ll probably post since we have absolutely zero journalistic standards.

Quarantining By Yourself and Not Losing Your Mind

People are wild. I must say, something good with this global pandemic has been my family and friend’s constant concern with my mental well being as I am currently alone in my apartment in NYC. Let this be a PSA for everyone – I am thriving in quarantine.

“Oh Real Talk (My alias), aren’t you getting bored not being able to go outside and do things? How much TV can you watch? Are you going stir crazy? How have you been occupying your time”

Don’t get me wrong, I get bored from time and time again. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any “OH SHIT what the hell am I doing and this is my life now” but I quickly snap back into it and realize that I am the man and I will thrive.

I will give everyone the keys to it all. Do you hate being bored? Do you like to have fun? Do you wanna be the man like me? All you gotta do is this – be resourceful, remember nothing is too weird for the moment, and realize you can do now absolutely anything you want without fear of being judged.

I will now go through a list of things I have been doing to keep my sanity and just kick the shit out of this quarantine.

Television

Yes, options are endless, but you can only watch so much TV in a day. For someone like me with a short attention span, pick a show just to have on in the background so you don’t get sucked into the news. It is important to check it every once in a while to make sure you are well informed on everything going on. But don’t get locked into watching it because it will make you depressed.

It is a great time to watch a long show that you have been putting off until you had some “free time” – now you do. Make it happen. I am gonna watch the wire (I probably won’t. Been saying it for 3 years).

• Top shows to have on in the background instead of the news: The Office, Parks and Rec, Friends, Seinfeld, New Girl, Modern Family. Don’t waste your time with others, these are the best there is

Exercise

This may come as a surprise, but I am normally not in the best shape. Sure I am one of the few that was strong and athletic enough to be a D1 (club) athlete, but don’t let that get you intimidated. I am just like you guys. But for real, with being stuck in my apt and not getting any form of physical activity in. I need to make more of a cognizant effort.

Pushups and Situps – The easiest thing to do. Just make it a game. Anytime someone in my family calls to check up on me, I do 10 pushups and 20 situps. My family loves me and checks in on me multiple times a day so I plan on being jacked after this.

Physical movement – per my note above. Getting to move around is tough. As someone who is on the phone all day I try to take walking laps around my apt while I am speaking (this is actually good advice – makes me feel a lot better)

Group workouts – I try to do this a couple times a week. Luckily I have a coworker who puts this together. Negative about this is it really made me realize how out of shape I am. Whenever I work out, I am sore for days. But hey that sore is great!

work

It’s a crazy time out there to be in the working world. Especially when your business relies 100% on commissions you make. It is important to maintain a schedule while working.

Try to shower in the morning and put PANTS ON (I only do it twice a week I am not crazy). I am telling you this makes you feel a lot better.

learning

I am learning Italian. Io parlo italiano!!!

games

Games rule. They amount of dumb shit that I have done is wild. I may become a professional darts player after this. Also I am now incredible at throwing balls into cups.

I have also decided I am gonna become really good at card tricks. You ever see David Blane? That guy is the definition of Magic, I am gonna be the definition of Magic after this.

zoom happy hours

It is important to stay connected but not overwhelmed. Last week I had “Zoom Happy Hours” almost every day. This is too much. Don’t feel bad about cancelling or even Irish Exiting.

It’s also extrememely fun to play around with the backgrounds and add new ones. It adds a ton of entertainment. I have been hanging with my boy Mike Posner every time.

cleaning

I have never cleaned my apt more than I currently am. My mom would be so proud. I have been hitting the corners, under the couch, places I didn’t even know exist. Yeah sure I am deathly afraid my apt is going to get contaminated, but hey it is SPOTLESS.

laying on the floor

Probably the most important thing you should try. Beyond all the medical benefits for you back. Laying on the floor is just dope. New perspective on the world. Hard to explain but try it for 20 minutes today and you will thank me later.

Sure – every day is different. It is an unprecedented time in the world and it is Ok to be sad and scared sometimes. But it doesn’t have to be all bad. Learn something new about yourself and don’t forget to smile.