Buzzword Dictionary 3/15

Corporate-speak is a language all of its own and it would take a Harvard linguist professor many lifetimes to master. Luckily for you, I am a genius and have already figured it all out. Because I am one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, I will be sharing my knowledge, free of charge.

Each week we will be defining three (3) corporate buzzwords and how to use them in an office and in the real world. Find our master list of Buzzwords click HERE

1. Circle Back (verb)

Definition (office)To re-visit an issue or request.

Example: 

Employee: Hey boss, just circling back on your ask for the Peterson account. Which books did you want me to cook?

Boss: The Peterson finances…we need to hit our Q4 numbers and may have to be a little creative.

Employee: Ok so I completely misunderstood.

Cut to a smoking oven filled to the brim with burning books. 

Employee: It was going to be War and Peas.

Definition (real world)To passive aggressively remind someone about something.

Example:

Guy (texting a girl): Hey are you free for drinks on Saturday?

Girl does not respond. 

Guy: Hey just circling back on this. Does tonight work?

Girl: Sorry, but I actually just started seeing someone.

Guy: That’s too bad. Who is it?

Girl: The Content King. He’s everything you’d want in a man.

Guy: Oh totally understand. I hear he has a really nice body and everyone likes and respects him.

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2. Deliverable (noun)

Definition (work): Goods or services to be provided at the end of a project.

Example:

Chris: How’d everyone think that meeting went?

Mike: Can we talk about one of the deliverables for the client? The presentation should be fine, but do we really have to text him that he’s handsome twice a day?

Chris:  You’re right. 3 times a day is better.

Definition (real life):  Something you are supposed to bring for an event.

Example:

Jake: Where are the girls dude? That was your ONE deliverable for this party.

Jason: Honestly, they didn’t want to come. You kind of creeped them out last time.

Jake: Oh a man’s not allowed to conduct a seance in his own home anymore?

Jason: I think it was more about you making everyone watch The Notebook and weeping for 4 hours straight.

Jake: That’ll do it.

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3.Regroup Internally (verb)

Definition (work): When you re-assemble as a group after a meeting or call to discuss next steps.

Example: 

Client: So that’s the brief. Any questions on your end?

Manager: Nope! All good here. We’ll regroup internally and get back to you by end of week.

Manager hangs up the phone.

Manager: Ok so what happened during that call? I was completely asleep.

Employee: We know. You were snoring and muttering in your sleep “Don’t kill me, kill my employees! They’re incompetent and I despise them!”

Manager: Oh I was awake for that.

Definition (real world): To get on the same page with someone else before giving a final answer.

Example

Teenager: Can I go to Sarah’s party tonight? All my friends will be there.

Mom: Probably! Your father and I will regroup internally and get back to you.

Teenager leaves the room. 

Mom: There’s no way that fucking kid is going to that party.

Dad: If my child has fun in high school I will consider it a personal failure.

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