Work.Retire.Die.

EDITORS NOTE:

RETURN WRITER ALERT: This next post is the second column by our regular contributor, Real Talk (aka RT.)  I think he was almost definitely 100% high when he wrote this so just keep that in mind. I try to refrain from editing these things and give my writers some ~creative freedom~ but Jesus Christ. I started editing this but gave up about halfway through. I think the word “clapping” was used 19 times. Vary your word choice for god’s sake Real Talk. Anyways, enjoy. 

PS- find his first column HERE.

State of the Union Review

By: Real Talk

So I hope everyone watched the State of the Union last night. I understand if you are a Trump hater; I am most certainly not the biggest fan, but it is still important to keep up with what is going on in our country and see what our chosen leaders are “doing.” This way you can really stand up for what you believe in…………

Are you sleeping yet? Haha jkjk I am not here to talk about what was said at the State of the Union. I am here to talk about what went DOWN at the SoTU. I am just going to talk about a few things I noticed.

First anyone else see that bald white guy introduce Trump? I don’t know if I am scared or weirded out… He has such a weird scream. But he could definitely kick my ass. He is kinda goofy looking. It could just be a weird angle that the camera has him. Honestly, I am so over it. Let’s get the show on the road!

PAUL RYAN FUCKED UP! PAUL RYAN FUCKED UP

Please say you saw Paul Ryan completely butch on introducing Trump. He only has to say one thing! One measly sentence was all he had to do. If you didn’t, find it on YouTube and watch. It is so subtle, but so satisfying.

See I use to have a lot more respect for Paul, but as soon as Trump got elected he completely bent over. That’s kinda bitch status if you ask me.

Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room. What was with the constant standing ovations? Could the republicans have any bigger crush on Trump? They literally stood for everything he said. It got pretty annoying after about the 2^nd time. The only part that was enjoyable about the constant standing and clapping  was keeping an eye out for the democrats who would randomly clap when he said something. But every once and a while the camera would catch either Chucky Schumer and Nancy Peloci picking random times to clap. Trump totally hit Chuck with a look when he clapped. I swear. Run the tapes.

I also love how the military people can only stand and clap when the Head guys speak. Like it’s called freedom of opinion. Stand up for what you believe in!

Ok last point about this clapping. How crazy is it that the supreme court to not be able to show any emotion? I get it they have to show bipartisanship, but common, they all have an opinion. Not saying that they are not properly doing their job, but don’t be afraid to dig a little deeper.

If I am being completely honest, I switched it off for a little due to all the clapping. I wanted to play a game of fifa tbh.

When I came back the clapping hasn’t subsided, but the content was at least better. But hey! I am not here to talk about the content. That’s for my guy Mr. WRD. I am here to talk about what the people are really thinking when they watch this shit.

Probably the highlight of the night was when the North Korean defector was announced for honestly being a badass. Long story short, he lost his legs and was tortured by North Korea and escaped on crutches. He was in the balcony with his crutches looking like it was the best moment of his life. He threw those crutches in the air and honestly, it was pretty determined. He looked like he was about to lead an army. Wild.

It was honestly a great way to show the world the North Korea is pretty crazy.

Alright, I am kinda bored talking about this. My friend whose name is the opposite of ground had to write a book report about the speech for his day job (honestly I thought high school was forever ago). How weird is that. I get to write about what people really thought.