Socializing Again Kind of Sucks

After 6 long months of Coronavirus and quarantining, it finally is starting to feel like the world is moving back towards some level of normalcy. New York just announced indoor dining would begin in October, malls are opening up, and people are starting to move back into their apartments in cities around the country. More … Continue reading Socializing Again Kind of Sucks

Life in the Corporate Bubble

Unless you've been completely asleep at the wheel for the past 3 months, you've probably heard about the NBA and their 'bubble' in Disneyworld, where all their players and staff have been living, working, and playing together for the past 80+ days. By all accounts, it's been a smash hit and the fans, NBA and … Continue reading Life in the Corporate Bubble

Nickelback is Always Here for Us

There’s no way around it - this has been a very hard year. There's been a nationwide pandemic, non-stop protests, murder hornets (did this happen?) and that time we casually made memes about World War III for like a week. Personally, I've run into a stop sign in a bit gone wrong, become just barely … Continue reading Nickelback is Always Here for Us

An Open Letter from the Bursar at Princeton College to Alexander Hamilton

*Editor's Note: This is a pretty specific reference to the song, Aaron Burr, Sir from the musical Hamilton by Hollywood's Lin Manuel Miranda. If that sentence makes no sense to you, go ahead and close this blog right now. An Open Letter from the Bursar at Princeton College to Alexander Hamilton Dear Mr. Hamilton, I … Continue reading An Open Letter from the Bursar at Princeton College to Alexander Hamilton

Monopolies that Are Bigger than Big Tech

For you uneducated types, Big Tech has been investigated by the "government" this week during a series of anti-trust hearings to determine whether they are operating under unlawful monopolies. While it's true that Apple, Google, Facebook and Amazon are dominant in technology, they are far more powerful monopolies that the American public needs to keep … Continue reading Monopolies that Are Bigger than Big Tech

Beans from Even Stevens Interviews to be My Assistant

In case you’re living under a rock, we are currently deep in the process of finding a new assistant here at Work Retire Die headquarters to help us run the entire Internet. Over the course of the next few weeks, we will be interviewing several very talented and qualified applicants. So far, we've had the honor of … Continue reading Beans from Even Stevens Interviews to be My Assistant

Drake Bells Interviews to be My Personal Assistant

As you may be aware, we are currently in the market for a personal assistant here at Work Retire Die. As we described in our job posting on Friday, we need a very specific candidate who can handle the Herculean task of helping run the entire Internet. We were completely overwhelmed by the interest in … Continue reading Drake Bells Interviews to be My Personal Assistant

Office Small Talk After Quarantine

To be honest, I am really not excited about going back to the office after quarantine ends. No, it's not because I'm loving work from home. It's because I'm dreading the small talk. If you're looking to practice your small talk and quarantine jokes, go ahead and smash that view button. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iorKKO_kfg&t=6s

Leaving A Zoom Happy Hour is Impossible

During these uncertain times, it can be really hard to stay in touch with friends. It should have been a blessing. Unfortunately, God decided to invent Zoom and now we can't get a moment of peace. Now, I feel like my social calendar is way more crowded than it ever was. It makes me sick. … Continue reading Leaving A Zoom Happy Hour is Impossible

Power Ranking the Only 7 Shirts My Little Brother Packed for Quarantine

I am currently quarantined at my parents house in New Jersey with 8 other people (this is a story for another blog.) One of those people is my little brother, who is 19 and home from his freshman year of college. While it's definitely sad that his college experience was cut short, the sadder part … Continue reading Power Ranking the Only 7 Shirts My Little Brother Packed for Quarantine