Monday: Survive and Advance
Oh boy. Monday. Blazing hot take but Mondays are pretty bad. You’re tired because you got up at 6 am, which is the same time you went to sleep on Saturday night, and you haven’t had a glass of water in 36 hours. You’re sad because you spent half your rent at bars, restaurants and clubs and didn’t get laid (or if you did you don’t really remember it). You’re ashamed because of what you said/did in front of your friend//stranger/hot girl /co-worker you ran into at 2 am. How is a man to expect to drive revenue for his company with all this weighing on him! BUT IT’S OK. Today is about surviving and advancing. Here’s how you do it.
9am- Lunch: Gather Yourself
Sit down. Open your computer and scan to see if there is anything time sensitive. Most likely there is not because who the fuck schedules calls before lunch on a Monday.
PRO-TIP: block out your calendar in staggered 30 minute/1 hr blocks so it looks like you’re busy. This will stop anyone from putting time on your calendar.
Now get some coffee and a big glass of water. Read through your Gmail first- there’s probably nothing really important there but it feels good. Ping the ole g-Chat group. Commiserate over how hungover you are and share stories from the weekend. Feel that shame just wash away. Mmmm so good.
Answer any time-pressing emails. Write out a to-do list for the week. Figure out what you can do tomorrow and what you need to do today. Read every single article on ESPN and Barstool.
1 pm-3:30 pm: Get some shit done (kinda)
A little bit of blood sugar from lunch and anxiety about having done nothing all day will stir some wild energy demons within your soul.
PRO- TIP: Write things on a to-do list that you’re literally about to do and are very easy. Then do them and feel like Limitless.
3:30-Closing Time: Depression but it’s cool
Just like listen to sad music and ignore everything. It can probably wait until Tuesday
After Work: Do 1-2 healthy things and then lie on your couch and watch TV until bed.
- Gym (probably not)
- Get some groceries (maybe)
- Call your parents (they love you)
- Hang out with your friends (most likely)
- Clean your room or something idk figure it out
PRO- TIP: You will probably want to go to bed at like 9:30. Do not get in bed this early as you will toss and turn until 1 am. Go to bed an hour earlier than normal and get ready to attack Tuesday.