Work.Retire.Die.

*Editor’s Note: This article comes from Intern Sam of Study Party Die fame. Check out more of his writing here.

Now we are in the dog days of summer. There really isn’t anything going on. Late June and early July are prime summer weeks, where your internship has just started and you can slack off and ask just the right amount of questions to make it seem like you’re learning and care but end up doing nothing productive. Come August, summer has really lost its thrill. The fourth of July was ages ago, and that trophy you won from the community egg toss is now collecting dust (side note and huge flex, this is true. I won the egg toss and now have a damn trophy. Suck on that Dad!).

Now is the time to try and make enough money so you can get drunk regularly and not starve during the school year. But there has got to be more to life than that, right? Not really. Here’s how I’ve been passing the time.

How to Tackle Summer Boredom

Baseball Games

This is a great way to do something fun that isn’t horribly expensive. My friends and I got bleacher seats for $30 and had a great time. By far my biggest takeaway from the game was how different fans at a San Francisco Giants game are compared to at Yankees games.

We sat in the bleachers because that’s where the drunk poor people go to yell and throw peanuts at each other. Where baseball still has its charm. We were all standing up, yelling nonsense at the Pirates right fielder when some holier than thou POS asked us to sit down. WHAT?!?! It’s the 8th inning and we are in the bleachers. Not only that, he asked so unbearably politely. That nonsense would never ever happen in the bleachers of a New York sporting event. I just hope his son knows his dad is a whiny bitch. 

Estate Sales

Now this is a fun one. If you go on Craigslist or Facebook you can find estate or tag sales in your area pretty much every weekend. Maybe I’m an old soul, but I think they’re the bees knees. It’s a bit sad watching the daughter of the deceased begrudgingly sell her mom’s old china set for $20, but once you’re past that it’s good fun. I’ve found some absolute gems at these sales. For example, for $1 I am now the proud owner of a 1991 Super Bowl hat. I am also now the proud owner of a lazy susan, which leads me to my next late summer activity…

Board Games

Board games receive way too much hate and I won’t stand for it. I’ve been locked in a number of very stressful Scrabble games recently. That’s also why I have the lazy susan; it’s much too difficult to turn the board every time so the letters are facing whoever’s turn it is. Now, all we have to do is lightly spin it.

I’ve also dug into some Clue, Monopoly, poker, and chess, and my mom is shipping me the Settlers of Catan game I never opened from 8 Christmases ago (sorry sis, I thought board games were lame in 7th grade). 

Watching all Fast and Furious Movies and Reviewing Them

If you keep up with my incredibly well written blogs you would already know about this. Some friends and I spent the better part of 2 weeks rewatching arguably the best movie franchise of all time. There really isn’t a better series to watch with a couple friends with a couple of drinks. They are so horribly made, so it’s funny without trying to be funny. Plus, the action scenes are wildly unrealistic and violent. How this series has never had an R-rated movie is simply beyond me.

Of course, this activity goes for movie series in general. Some other series I’d suggest are Harry Potter, Rocky, and Mission Impossible. If you’d like to reread my excellent work, here it is: Rewatching All 8 Fast and Furious Movies 

Achieving True Jedi on Every Level of Lego Star Wars

If you don’t know what achieving true Jedi is then go ahead and close the tab you’re reading this on. You don’t deserve to read my article. Lego Star Wars is perhaps the greatest video game ever made and provides hours of entertainment. I’ve taken it back to my roots and have been grinding through the multiplayer Lego Star Wars game. There’s something wholesome about playing this game, and I’ll never get sick of the dialogue less Lego cutscenes. Here’s a video if you don’t know what I’m talking about:

Hopefully your summer isn’t too boring, and if it is, I’d suggest any of the above activities. Although this time in summer is boring, soon enough it’ll be cold and get dark at 5 pm. So you might as well get into a shouting match with a middle aged man at a baseball game.