How to Get the Most Drunk for the Least Amount of Money
Today’s blog comes from the boys at Study Party Die – Intern Tavi and Sam the Intern. They’ve put their collective brainpower together for the top tips to get you drunk on your last $20 this weekend.
A common theme of the blog posts that I have written so far is that I, and most other college students, are broke. If you find yourself with less than $20 on your debit card on a Friday night but still need to get drunk to forget the past week, you may be between a rock and a hard place. Fear not my fellow alcoholics! For under $20 you can certainly get hammered, so here are my personal favorites. Sure they won’t taste great, but that’s truly beside the point.
This has been a personal favorite for most of this year. If you’re unfamiliar, a sidewalk slam entails drinking half of a 40 ounce beer (Old English, Mickeys, Colt 45) and then topping off the remainder of the free space with a Four Loko and mixing the two. After you finish, you’re supposed to slam the empty glass bottle on the sidewalk, hence the name. Yeah, it’s fucking great.
Let’s do some quick math on this one. A 40 ounce beer costs about $3, and a Four Loko costs $3-$5. So at most, you are spending $8 on alcohol for the night. Also, a 40 is malt liquor and can be anywhere from 5 to 8 percent. A Four Loko is typically 12%. Don’t worry, you’ll be hammered. If only Four Loko had kept their sweet, sweet, original recipe and this drink would be especially heinous. Even with the modern, toned-down version, a sidewalk slam will have you hammered for cheap and deeply regret it in the morning.
I’ve heard this drink called a few different names, but in my neck of the woods it’s called a borg. It’s actually really simple. All you need is a gallon of water, a fifth of vodka, tequila, or clear rum, and Mio (or any other water “enhancer”). Empty out half of the gallon of water–or drink it if you care for your liver–add the fifth, then add the Mio. That’s it. Surprisingly, it tastes pretty good. The Mio really hides the taste of the alcohol and the water helps keep you hydrated throughout the night.
Ok, let’s talk numbers. A gallon of water is uber-cheap, likely only $2. A fifth can be expensive if you’re stupid, but for a borg I’d recommend getting bottom shelf. The quality of the liquor really isn’t going to affect this drink much. So let’s call this expense $15. Then the mio, which is only 2 maybe 3 dollars. So we’re close to $20, but you’ve also got a fifth. If you drink an entire borg fast enough, pray for the friends that have to take care of you.
Pink Panty Dropper
Don’t be fooled by the name. This drink isn’t cute, or fun, or at all dainty. It’s really nothing to sip on, either. A Pink Panty Dropper is essentially a glorified “punch bowl” usually made in a cooler for mass production. The recipe is pretty simple and basically requires leftover alcohol you can find around your house. The recipe calls for mixing beer, hard liquor, and frozen pink lemonade concentrate into a true masterpiece. Despite the ingredient list, the drink doesn’t taste all that bad for being made up of usually found alcohol.
For the pricing of the drink, you are really only needing to buy pink lemonade concentrate which will run you up about $2 at a local grocery store. With a fun yet slightly aggressive name, this drink is best enjoyed with others and made in a cooler or large container. To avoid any drinks thrown in faces or suspicion from party guests when name dropping “Pink Panty Droppers,” consider drinking this drink exclusively with your male friends.
Hopefully, these handy recipes can help you save a dime when it matters most. Cheers!