How To Live Your Pathetic Life

Going to Work with a Black Eye

*Editors Note- this also applies to face scrapes* It should surprise none of you that I am generally regarded as one of the biggest bad boys in Corporate America history. I don't do expense reports on time, I never attend team-building exercises and I have shown up at the office with a glaring facial wound … Continue reading Going to Work with a Black Eye

Welcome to Hippo Week

*Editors' Note - this content originally appear on our highly successful weekly email newsletter, where we have a regular segment called "Historical Photo of a Photo of the Week." Click here to subscribe for more exclusive hippo content. Yep, that's right. Someone finally had the balls to go after Shark Week, better known as an overhyped … Continue reading Welcome to Hippo Week

What You Learn During Dry January

On Wednesday, Prohibition turned 100 years old. In anticipation of the event that jumpstarted the Kennedy empire and career of my role model Al Capone, I have been practicing a Dry January. I am bravely starting this on January 7th and am allowing myself 2 cheat days as a treat. Many are saying this is more of a ‘drink … Continue reading What You Learn During Dry January

The 10 Commandments of Corporate America

Loyal and zealous WRDies, I bring good news from on high. After years of preaching the good word to tens of readers, your humble and handsome Content King has officially formalized his teachings into sacred scripture. Many of you are not worthy of my message, but I am a merciful king and willing to look … Continue reading The 10 Commandments of Corporate America

2020 Resolutions to Make You Less of a Horrible Person

Is your life horrible? Most likely. Follow my FIVE simple resolutions to turn this thing around in 2020.  1. be Less wasteful This year, save your 3 most valuable resources - time, water, and soap, by no longer washing your hands after you pee. IF YOU DON'T PEE ON YOUR HANDS, YOU DON'T NEED TO … Continue reading 2020 Resolutions to Make You Less of a Horrible Person

INVESTIGATIVE REPORT: Is “Living With Yourself” Paul Rudd’s confession that he is a real life clone?

*Editor's Note: Guest writer Old Man is back with a stunning exposé and seeks to answer the timeless question - is there actually only one actor in all of Hollywood? Are they all...the same person? * In case you’re a Disney+ loyalist, there’s a new hit show on Netflix called Living With Yourself. Living With … Continue reading INVESTIGATIVE REPORT: Is “Living With Yourself” Paul Rudd’s confession that he is a real life clone?

Power Ranking the Best Ages for Halloween

This has been one of the longest Halloween seasons in recorded human history. Halloween falls on a Thursday this year, which means there are FIVE occasions to dress up and go out: Friday and Saturday the weekend before, Halloween itself (Thursday) and then Friday and Saturday this weekend. Are there even five costumes in the … Continue reading Power Ranking the Best Ages for Halloween

How to Call in ‘Sick’ at Work – Tips from a Pro

Editor's Note: This originally appeared on the weekly Work Retire Die email newsletter. Email us at workretiredie@gmail.com to be added or click here to subscribe. Emails are sent every Friday at 11 am - learn more here. The weather is getting cold which means one thing - it is the perfect time to start faking … Continue reading How to Call in ‘Sick’ at Work – Tips from a Pro

Work Retire Die Turns 2 Years Old

Long self indulgent post alert. TLDR: The blog is two years old today. We're celebrating the best and worst articles from the past 2 years. And we're giving away a Crock-Pot to an email newsletter subscriber. Yes actually. Email workretiredie@gmail.com by Friday at 11 am for a chance to win. Scroll past the heartfelt thanks … Continue reading Work Retire Die Turns 2 Years Old

Work Retire Newsletter

Loyal WRDies - we are pleased to announce that your prayers have been answered and wildest dreams have finally come true. We are launching a weekly newsletter, giving you a chance for yet another email to fill up your already crowded inbox!! We know that email is annoying to begin with. And between theSkimm, MorningBrew, … Continue reading Work Retire Newsletter